Trying to parent your child’s gaming behavior can be really difficult. We wanted to share six of our favorite parenting principles for managing their gaming habits. We also talk about some crazy myths some people believe about gaming and children and how we can actually leverage technology to empower our kids and help shape them into the adults we hope they become. Here are six principles to use to help you on your quest with parenting your gamer. It’s not easy. There’s not one simple, cookie-cutter approach to how we’re supposed to govern our children as they engage with video games. What works for one family may not work for another, so it’ll take a little ingenuity and customization on your part. But at least we share a handful of fundamental principles to work from.
Get Over Your Technophobia
Yeah, we’re talking to you, parents.
Can video games be a problem? Absolutely.
But there is a growing trend amongst parents that any new technology is going to rot our children’s brains. Gaming gets lumped into this all too often. It’s simply not true. This myth has been evolving each decade with new technology and new innovations in the gaming world. The media feeds this hysteria and phobia and despite it being debunked time and time again, some parents still believe it. While we don’t mean to poke fun at people who legitimately have technophobia, there is a pervading misconception about video games.
No, video games do not cause violence. There are millions and millions of people who log millions and millions of hours every DAY on video games and about 99.99% of them don’t commit a single violent act in their entire lifetime. It’s a myth. There’s zero correlation on a macro-societal level that video games do all this harm they’re purported to have.
“Video games aren’t rotting our children’s brains.” It’s not turning them into “unproductive citizens” or any of that hogwash. There are dangers to over-playing and spending way too much time or getting way too emotionally involved in video games, but for the most part, there is a lot of good that can come from them.
One of the pet peeves we hear all too often is “Don’t use video games as a reward.” And that drives us nuts because we use video games as a reward for a long day at work. Heck…your spouse says “If you get the lawn mowed and edged you can play Madden an hour.” Guess what? It works. The yard looks great and I get some gaming in. We want to be careful of how much of a reward it is and if it is the ONLY reward we use for good behavior. But telling your kid they can have an hour of gaming if they do the dishes or read a book for an hour in return is hardly a reason to signal the alarms of some psychological problem. Avoiding using video games as a reward is just a buzz-worthy and trendy parenting myth right now. Don’t fall for it. We’d also argue that it’s okay to let your kids have video gaming time just to have the time. In other words, if they always have to do something to unlock video game time, what message are you sending your kid? Just being able to play for 20-30 minutes a day without having it be a reward is perfectly fine.
Enable and Implement Parental Controls
This is a no-brainer, yet it would shock you how many parents don’t enable parental controls. Some games (like Fortnite), have parental controls built into the software, but many times the parental controls will be set at the platform/device level. If you’re not enabling parental controls with your kid’s gaming behavior, you need to. Aside from protecting them from outside dangers (which do exist), parental controls allow you to set limits on things like ratings (more on that below), time limit enforcement, and things like in-app purchases. Most games and gaming platforms and devices have some kind of parental control. We talked earlier about the Oculus Quest VR headset and its lack of parental controls, but for the most part parental controls are going to be there. You just have to find them and go the extra mile to understand them and enable them. Guess what? Sometimes it’s not an easy “set it and forget it” parental control. Sometimes you have to monitor what’s going on here and there. But an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Cliche? Yes, but it’s true, especially with gaming. If they don’t have them, then you need to look at other solutions like what features your router offers or a device like Firewalla. Granted these don’t have controls like “Don’t allow gore or swearing”, but they can help you control the time aspect of gaming.
Awareness Is Important
Not just for you as a parent to be aware of what your children are doing on video games, but also for teaching them to be aware. Teaching your youngsters to practice a little meta-cognition as it relates to gaming is vital. A couple of questions to have them review each time are: How long am I playing (How long did I play)? How does gaming affect my mood/behavior? These are two really easy questions to memorize and easy to answer. And it will surprise you (especially if you engage in these questions with them) what conclusions your kids will come to.
For example, we had our teen stop playing Fortnite because he said he was always angry and upset after each session or would respond negatively when we told him to stop playing. Does this mean Fortnite is a horrible game and teens shouldn’t be playing it? Not at all. But for one teen, it wasn’t working out for him. By letting him come to this conclusion, it put him in charge of his own emotions and behavior and a valuable skill was learned which we believe and are hopeful will turn out to be a life-long awareness.
Teaching our children to be aware and fully present with how they’re spending their time (and not just with gaming, but really with anything) on a specific task is generally a good skill to build. Once again, technology isn’t bad and if we’re smart we can leverage a lot of good out from it. A little hack we did that helped raise the level of awareness of how long our kid was playing video games was a simple Cube Timer we got from Amazon. We call it our “Gamer Cube”.
This really helped our kids become aware of how long they were playing and engaging with technology. Whenever we are doing something we really enjoy, time flies by so quickly. Gaming is no different. There’s actually brain science behind this concept and this little gamer cube taught our kids how 30 minutes playing video games feels a lot different than 30 minutes not playing video games. At first, their reaction will be “There’s no way that was 30 minutes!” They’ll most likely become mad at the timer and even accuse you of buying one with shorter times to finagle them out of more playing time. It’s quite funny. But after a while, they become aware of how important 30 or even 60 minutes of video game time means to them. Don’t be surprised if they begin to value their time a little more. Again, we can leverage gaming to teach our kids a valuable lesson in time management.
Engage In Conversations With Your Kids About Their Gaming Experience
This one is so easy, but so many parents don’t do it. Personally, we think most parents don’t know how to talk to them about gaming. It’s rather simple.
Some of the best questions to ask are:
What game did you play?
Did you play it with any of your friends/buddies?
I noticed you play that game a lot, why do you like that game?
Is there something about it you love?
Are there any new games up and coming that you’re interested in?
The goal is to get them talking about their experience with gaming. It’s also a great way to connect with your kids. It shows them you care as a parent. If they don’t want to engage at first and have a conversation, that’s normal. It’ll take time to build that environment and culture of talking. But once you do get into a rhythm, you’ll pick up on things both positive and negative and be able to respond appropriately. There are some potentially crazy and dangerous things that can happen in the world of gaming and technology. Just a little bit of dialogue and conversations could help prevent and solve a lot of the craziness.
Collaborate On A Screen Time Plan
The keyword here is “collaborate”. When you come up with a screen time plan with gaming together, collaboratively with your child, they are more likely to buy into it. It’s going to be more effective as well. Detail out what kinds of games are acceptable based on their age. Agree on how many hours a week is healthy. Talk about the ratings and what’s appropriate. Be open and honest about your concerns. Ask them about their concerns. The key is you don’t want to make yourself the enemy. When you collaborate with your child, they are more likely to buy into the plan.
Parenting Your Gamer: Know The Gaming Ratings
Again…this is such an easy thing to take advantage of. You might have to spend a little bit of time to understand these ratings, but they’re rather straightforward. For the most part, these ratings are solid in their appropriateness for each age and every game should have a rating accompanied with it. There are 5 main ESRB ratings you need to be aware of. They are as followed:
E (Everyone)
Content is generally suitable for all ages. May contain minimal cartoon, fantasy, or mild violence and/or infrequent use of mild language.
E 10+ (Everyone 10+)
Content is generally suitable for ages 10 and up. May contain more cartoon, fantasy or mild violence, mild language, and/or minimal suggestive themes.
T (Teen)
Content is generally suitable for ages 13 and up. May contain violence, suggestive themes, crude humor, minimal blood, simulated gambling, and/or infrequent use of strong language.
M (Mature 17+)
Content is generally suitable for ages 17 and up. May contain intense violence, blood and gore, sexual content, and/or strong language.
Adults Only 18+
Content suitable only for adults ages 18 and up. May include prolonged scenes of intense violence, graphic sexual content, and/or gambling with real currency.
Furthermore, there are what they call “Pending Ratings” you should also be aware of if you’re going to let your family do some gaming:
RP (Rating Pending)
Not yet assigned a final ESRB rating. Appears only in advertising, marketing, and promotional materials related to a physical (e.g., boxed) video game that is expected to carry an ESRB rating, and should be replaced by a game’s rating once it has been assigned.
RP 17+ (Rating Pending Likely Mature 17+)
Not yet assigned a final ESRB rating but anticipated to be rated Mature 17+. Appears only in advertising, marketing, and promotional materials related to a physical (e.g., boxed) video game that is expected to carry an ESRB rating, and should be replaced by a game’s rating once it has been assigned. You can find more information on ratings from the Entertainment Software Rating Board here. If you have a gamer in the family, we HIGHLY suggest you spend some time reviewing the content here and even having discussions with your family about ratings and the kinds of acceptable content that are permitted in your home. The ESRB page on video game ratings details the ratings summaries, content descriptors, and the kinds of interactive elements (online features) that you should be aware of.
Show me a child with a phone/tablet and no limitation, and I’ll show you a child that struggles with some type of addictive behavior. But, come on, even us adults will struggle if we don’t understand our limitations. That being said, let’s talk about Apple’s Screen Time.
If you haven’t set up Screen Time on your Apple devices, you’re missing out on one of the best functions of Apple’s iOS. Indeed, one of the best features of Apple’s iOS is the Screen Time program. This easy-to-set-up feature is one of the best tools for parents to help manage their family’s access to the web, apps, and just general parental controls. Granted, it’ll only work with other Apple devices. For example, if you’re trying to work Screen Time from your iPhone on your kid’s Android device, it won’t work. With Screen Time, you can keep an eye on how your kids spend time on their devices, and you can also set limits to help them get the right balance. It’s not a high-level, intrusive program but a workable alternative if you’re looking for something to help manage your family’s time on their devices.
What It Does. What It Doesn’t.
Screen time will allow you to place restrictions on apps, schedule downtime, create content restrictions, give you reports on how you’re using your devices, and a bunch of useful functions to help manage your screen time. What it won’t do is monitor who your kids are calling (although you can place restrictions on contacts). It won’t monitor what they’re saying in text messages. If you’re trying to use Screen Time to do those kinds of functions, you won’t find it. Instead, you’ll need something like Bark, OurPact, Circle, or MMGuardian.
Setting Up Screen Time
To set up Screen Time on your kid’s device, they will need to have their own Apple ID. You both need to be part of the same Family Group in Family Sharing as well. You also need to turn on Screen Time on your child’s device, which you can do from your iPhone (or your iPad). We prefer doing it all from the iPhone. The next steps are super simple. Then, add a Screen Time passcode to access certain features. Do not share this passcode with your children. Another important tip is this passcode should be different from your main device passcode. Below, we’ll briefly show you how to review your kid’s device use (and yours), add app limits, and schedule downtime.
Monitoring Your Child’s Device Usage
How your child uses their device is something you should have a firm understanding of. We have weekly discussions about our screen time use. On your device, go to Settings, then scroll and tap Screen Time. From here, tap your child’s name. You’ll see their weekly activity summary. Tap See All Activity to learn more, like which apps they use the most, how many times they pick up their device, where they go on those pickups, and which apps are sending the most notifications. You can view these stats based on a full week or just focus on today. Reviewing these stats each Sunday has led to many interesting and constructive conversations with the family.
Limiting Time With Certain Apps with Screen Time
What if you do want to put some time limits on some apps? If you want to limit how much time your child spends on certain apps, you’ll love Screen Time. You can set time limits on individual apps or on app categories, like games, entertainment, and social media. It’s really easy to set up.
To create these time limitations, you’ll need to do the following:
Tap App Limits.
Tap Add Limit.
Then enter your Screen Time passcode if prompted.
Now select the app category you’d like to limit. Or tap a category and select apps to set individual limits.
Then, tap Next. From here, set a daily time limit.
You can also customize app limits for specific days of the week and block the app for the day once the limit expires.
When you’re done making changes, tap Add.
Additional Scheduling Features With Downtime
If you don’t want your child using their device at certain times of the day, like bedtime or during school, you can schedule what is called “Downtime”, which will block selected apps and notifications. This is probably one of the most effective parental controls with Screen Time. To do this, tap Downtime, enter your Screen Time passcode if prompted, and tap the switch to turn it on. From here, you’ll want to choose which days you’d like to schedule downtime and pick a start and end time. We’ve customized downtime, so the kids have a little later start on the weekends vs. weekdays. During downtime, they’ll still have access to phone calls and the apps you select on their Always Allowed list. You can edit this list anytime back in Screen Time settings. Of course, you’ll have to customize that list to what fits your family’s needs. The three Always Allowed list apps we use are Phone, Podcasts, and Audible. There are some pretty cool podcasts out there to help kids calm down and get ready for bed. We’ve leveraged that.
When they’ve reached the limit, this screen will appear and block them from using the app. It happens instantly, and it’s wonderful. Your kid will have the option to ask for more time (which they will…over and over again), and you will receive a notification on your Apple device. To let them use the app a little longer (approve for 15 minutes, an hour, all day, or don’t approve), swipe down on the notification and extend their time. Or tap “Don’t Approve” to keep the app locked. One benefit of the Apple iOS ecosystem is all your Apple devices work in unison and communicate flawlessly with each other. If you’re working on your Mac and get an “Ask For More Time” alert, you can approve it right there on your Mac. If you’re on your iPad, it’ll come through on your iPad. Most of these requests will show up on your Apple Watch (if you have one) and that makes it really nice to have that functionality (and power) right on your wrist.
It’s Not About Control. It’s About Empowerment
All too often, we are seeking out solutions for maximum control on how our kids use their devices. And that’s up to you as a parent to decide if that’s the right course of action. Some parenting styles are more full-control and others are a little laxer in nature. With these screen time guidelines in place, you can help your family make the most of the time they spend on their devices. Of course, it’s not the BEST solution if you want a lot of control, but what screen time can deliver is unique in the way that it can lead to conversations about how your family is interacting and using technology. Even for yourself, to be able to see usage stats and how you’re spending time on apps can and will be an eye-opener at first. We think Screen Time is a clever way to make you and your family more aware of their tech habits and how you can use technology in a way that benefits and empowers your life instead of becoming beholden to the devices we are so close to.
Do you know what your teens are doing on TikTok? As a parent, you should.
This guide will help you navigate through the relationship your teen is having with this popular app. What do parents really need to know about TikTok? After shattering download and usage records, TikTok is one of the most-used apps among young people. According to Comscore, 32.5% of its US user base is between the ages of 10 and 19.
In fact, it is believed that young people ages 4 to 15 have spent on average 80 minutes per day on the app! If those TikTok stats weren’t jaw-dropping, those usage stats should be. The chances of your teen either seeing something on TikTok or having the app is pretty high. Do you know what your teens are doing on TikTok?
5 Simple Ways To Talk To Your Teen About TikTok
There are so many ways and parenting advice how-tos for having conversations about life with your teen. Some of those advice tips are great and some of them are not so great. Parenting around TikTok can be rough, especially if the app is already ingrained in the social fabric of our teens’ lives. Have no fear. DDID is here to help! These are just some of the easy and effective approaches that work and will have results. Remember: You’re not going to create this amazing culture of communication and openness in a day. This might take time. Be patient. Try one for the next week and then add another a week later until you’ve hit that desired environment where TikTok isn’t the enemy.
Here are 5 simple ways to talk to your teen about TikTok:
Be Transparent
If you’re going to set limits, restrictions, monitoring, a responsible thing to do as a parent is to let your teen know! Privacy is important to them and if you’re monitoring their behavior without them knowing, they may feel betrayed and/or lose trust in you. Back in the day, we HATED parents who would read our journals. The problem is those journals didn’t impact us the way smartphones and apps do. Explain to your teen why you’re putting on limits and monitoring. Let them know it’s not to make sure they aren’t doing anything bad, but the goal is to protect them. They may not understand this concept, but come up with some examples of how these limits and restrictions can help them.
Set Healthy Screen Limits With TikTok
This is a hard one for parents to manage. Many pediatricians recommend that teens and children are active at least 15 minutes for every hour of screen time. Some parents use screen time as digital currency whereas if they want to unlock 15 more minutes of TikTok time, they need to go outside and exercise for 15 minutes, do the dishes, or do some other chore for 15 minutes. This is an effective hack to make your teen really aware of time because they tend to lose track of when using apps. So how much time? Most pediatricians recommend limiting overall screen time to two hours a day, not including school work and activities. But again…understand the purpose of that time as well. There are a lot of cool things on TikTok, constructive videos, how-to videos. If your teen and their friends are learning to cook a cake and they’re streaming through 30-40 minutes of those kinds of TikToks (the educational time), that may not count towards their overall two-hour limit. Set healthy TikTok limits within the context of what they’re consuming.
Talk About The TikTok Media and Videos They’re Consuming
The simple act of just talking to your teen is one of the most undervalued parenting hacks. Oftentimes, you’ll be able to pick up on something wrong or what’s bothering them with simple conversations. Don’t overthink this either! It’s easy. Start with: “So I noticed you spent a lot of time today on TikTok? Find anything funny or worth sharing with me?” Or “Did you see that Clothes Line Dance on TikTok yet? It is awesome!” This might require you to actually be part of the universe your teen is living in, but that’s what parenting is all about. It’s about connection and helping your teen make sense of their identity and their world.
Create An Open Environment For Discussion
The number one rule with parenting TikTok: Never trigger shame. If your teen is using and consuming media, it’s not a matter of if, but when they’re going to see or hear something inappropriate. The question you should ask is: How do I want them to respond when that moment arrives? When I’m not there. Do you want them to hide it? Or do you want them to talk to you about it? The best way to create an open environment is to talk about moments where we’ve made mistakes or been involved in these uneasy moments and what we did. It comes back to some of these other parenting tips: just talking and being involved.
Be Involved
As mentioned above, this little advice hack can do wonders with parenting TikTok. This doesn’t mean you have to download TikTok and follow the same users and subscribe to the same feeds as your teen. But encourage your teen to share what they’re looking at with you. Watch some videos together. Laugh together. Cry together. What will happen is your teen will know you’re not a threat. This tip also has another dual-layer that accompanies it, as you become involved in their world you’ll pick up on the little nuances of their tech environment. Many times the apps we use will roll out updates that will have an impact on its users. Personal information, facial recognition data storage, access to cameras and mics, new ways feeds are displayed and shared, etc. are a handful of these ways. Being involved will help you stay ahead of the curve, so you’re being proactive instead of reactive.
Remember The Goal Of Parenting Around TikTok
Trying to navigate through these waters of parenting in a tech world is not easy. Just remember: making these little adjustments and having these good conversations will not happen immediately. It’s going to take time to create a culture where your teen learns to leverage technology and media for good. You might be in a situation where technology is controlling your family. We feel your pain. Welcome to the club! Welcome to parenting in the 21st century. Join the millions of parents out there trying to find a better way.
Just by trying, you’re making an impact. The entire goal in all of this, whether it’s TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, Fortnite, or Call Of Duty, is to work WITH technology so that it can empower our lives. We can do that through effective communication with our teens where we build a culture in our homes of openness, happiness, and empowerment.
One in three children have been bullied online, and one in four have been threatened online. Unfortunately, every day, cyberbullying cases only increase in number.
In fact, a recent study from the University of New Hampshire stated that 30% of all children have been victims of cyberbullying [1]. This is a serious concern for parents because their child’s well-being can be compromised if their son or daughter falls victim to cyberbullying.
Parents are often caught off guard when their child becomes a victim of cyberbullying because it occurs in the digital world. However, as parents, we must not be naïve about the risks that exist when we give our children access to technology. I’ve compiled key learnings that all of us as parents should know.
What cyberbullying looks like
Parents need to know what cyberbullying looks like in order to detect it before problems escalate into cyber-harassment or cyberstalking. Cyberbullying can take many forms depending on the technology involved. For example, a cyberbully can post negative comments about another person on social media, send mean text messages, create fake profiles to harass others online, or start rumors that are sent by email or posted on social networking pages. One of the most common cyberbullying tactics involves posting embarrassing photos of victims on websites like Instagram and Facebook. Photos are often taken without the victim’s knowledge, and in extreme cases, cyberbullies will threaten to post the pictures online if certain demands are not met. cyberbullying prevention tips Although cyberbullying is a problem that all children deal with, there are a number of cyberbullying prevention tips parents can use to help keep their children cyber secure. First, parents need to have open communication with their children. Parents should try to answer any questions about the cyberbullying their child may be experiencing. This allows you to help them navigate cyberbullying issues, and it keeps cyberbullying from being a secret issue between your child and an online friend. Parents should also teach their children about cyberbullies and cyberbullying behavior. The more your child knows about cyberbullies, the more cyberbullies can be held accountable, and cyberbullying behavior will decrease.
Other cyberbullying prevention tips include:
have a parental control software plan of action
monitor activity on social media accounts
know what apps your child uses and how to use them
report cyberbullying behavior children should not give cyberbullies a reaction.
If a cyberbully is writing mean comments, your child should ignore them and save any evidence. Often cyberbullies are friends of your child; this makes it harder for your child not to give a reaction or tell an adult.
While cyberbullying is a serious problem, there are ways parents can help their children stay cyber secure while online.
In my opinion, the most important help parents can provide is to have ongoing and open communication with their kids about their online activity and not be hesitant to monitor your child’s online activity.
Dale here, doing all I can to help keep mine and your family safe and smart with the technology we use.
Oh Snap, I guess It’s time to talk about snap chat. Ask any of my kids and they’ll tell you it’s my favorite app – Not!
Snapchat is an app that lets users send messages, pictures, and videos to each other. Recipients are able to view these messages for a set time before they disappear. Last year, Snapchat was making headlines for its popularity among teens. Now the messaging app is worth about $10 billion dollars. Its biggest competitor, Instagram, took notice and added a similar feature to its own website. But what is it about Snap Chat that appeals to young people? And what can parents do to help protect their kids from harm? In this article, I’ll explore why this app is so popular and I’ll share specific reasons why I’ve never allowed any of my minor age kids to use this app.
What is Snapchats appeal to teenagers
The Snapchat app has a specific audience: young people between the ages of 13 and 19 years old. The use of the app among this age group is much higher than its use by adults because younger people connect with their friends and peers through the app in a way that is very different from how an adult uses Snapchat.
Snapchat’s biggest selling point is that messages are temporary. The idea is that you message something to someone, they will see it for 10 seconds, then the snap disappears forever. This appeals to teens who are afraid of their parents or teachers seeing what they’re saying.
The Snapchat app is a camera with a messaging feature integrated into it. The messaging feature allows users to take photos and record short videos, apply creative visual effects, draw on their images and send them to friends. These messages can be viewed for a few seconds before they disappear.
Why I don’t like Snap Chat?
Since Snapchat’s inception in 2011, I have always had this app on my least liked messaging app and have never allowed my minor age kids to use this app. Please recognize that it’s not because I don’t trust my minor kids, I have great kids, I’ve just lived inside a teenage brain myself, and recall all the times I wasn’t able to think through all the consequences of my actions before acting. Listed below are my reasons for not allowing this app on my teen’s phones.
It is easier for young kids to receive inappropriate content that can lead to cyberbullying, sexting, and other inappropriate online behavior
There is a significant likelihood that snaps sent will be shared or screenshotted and distributed without consent, this has led to aggressive cyberbullying
Because it’s temporary, teens can be easily tempted or peer pressured into sending inappropriate media by thinking it won’t be out there forever. Too many people fail to understand that once content leaves your phone there is no guarantee it will stay private.
Snapchat has a location feature that uses GPS technology to tell you about your proximity to other users. This means the user’s location can easily be inferred.
Many cases have also been documented where predators have used the app to target, stalk, and sexually exploit children.
One known case involved a juvenile court judge who was jailed for soliciting sex from young boys on Snapchat.
If you are okay with your kids using Snap Chat then it’s important for you to have candid conversations with your kids to ensure they understand that just because it claims messages are temporary that won’t always be the case, as anyone could screenshot and reshare the content.
It will also be important for you as the parent to know how it works and how easy it is to use. Make sure you download Snapchat or at least take a look at the interface so that you will be familiar with it when your teen starts to use it.
Parental controls for the Oculus Quest? They don’t exist, but we have a few steps to make sure your family is protected while using this VR device.
If you just purchased your family an Oculus Quest One or Two, you could have just handed them a web browser and device with absolutely zero content filtering options and no parental controls. What could go wrong? We searched and searched for parental controls built into the software for the Oculus Quest, and…they don’t exist. The Oculus Quest doesn’t currently have any built-in web filter or parental controls by default, and for parents, that’s gotta be a little concerning. We wanted to create this guide to show you the best available methods for blocking and filtering explicit content on the Oculus Quest. We’ll cover what you can do as a parent in the browser settings, Facebook settings, the Oculus app, and your home environment.
Oculus Quest Browser Parental Settings
One of the most important and crucial parental control settings is the Oculus web browser. Every Oculus Quest has a fully functional web browser that cannot be disabled. There are some ways to uninstall it with SideQuest, but it is not recommended and can wreck your entire system. Worse, the web browser has no content filtering by default. To implement this content filter, you’re going to have to jump into the Oculus headset and change a few settings. If you’ve never jumped into a VR headset before, we recommend you play around in the VR environment to get familiar with the way the VR ecosystem works. It can be tricky at first, but you should be able to pick up on it fairly quickly. Once you’re inside and feel comfortable with the headset, you’re going to be met with a virtual environment. Don’t hesitate to ask your kids for help if you need it.
From here, on your RIGHT controller, you want to hit the button that has the Oculus logo on it. This will bring up the Oculus menu.
Once you’re in the menu, you will want to click on the Apps tab and go into Browser. This will pull up the Oculus browser.
You’re going to change some settings here to make it safe. First and foremost, you’re going to go over to the triple dots, click on those and go into settings.
Leveraging Your Google Account For Parental Control
As a side note, you may have to sign in to your Google account to perform this content filtering option.
Once you’re inside the settings in the Oculus browser, you’re going to make sure the default search engine is set to Google.
Exit out of this tab by clicking little X. Go into the Search settings in your Google account and make sure you have “Safe Search” checked on.
What does this do? You do this because “Safe Search” is Google’s default content filter, which filters out explicit content like pornography. If you have this checked on, it should filter out many pornographic sites and graphic content. So, anyone that uses the Oculus Quest headset won’t be able to access questionable content. Again, this is not a perfect content filter. There are obviously a thousand other ways to access explicit content, but this is literally one of the best ways we could find to keep the bad things off of your Oculus web browser. Once you have “Safe Search” turned on, go down to the very bottom of the page and hit “Save.”
Oculus Quest Parental Control At The Wi-Fi Router Level
Leveraging Google is most likely not enough protection, so there are a couple of other workarounds you can do to prevent your child from being exposed to explicit content on the web via the Oculus Quest device. If you have a Wi-Fi router that was set up using an application on your smartphone, then most likely, that router has some sort of content filtering method built right into it. For example, on a Google Nest Router, there is a setting that, when toggled ON, blocks all adult websites and as much explicit content as Google could possibly think of. But if your Wi-Fi doesn’t have a setting like this, you can always call your internet service provider and ask them about the content filtering options they have available. You can get similar parental control features as the Google Nest Router by also using Firewalla or the Eero Mesh Wi-Fi. As a general best practice for parenting controls for your internet and devices connected to your network, we highly advise investing in one of these awesome mesh Wi-Fi routers. Not only do you get an optimized signal throughout your home, but you can also set up some effective filtering settings.
Enhanced Facebook Settings For Oculus Quest Parental Controls
Another key component to parental controls for the Oculus is the settings on the Facebook profile you’re using for your Oculus Quest headset. You are required to sign in with a Facebook account with your Oculus device. And again, it is possible to see explicit content on Facebook. We’re going to cover a handful of settings and recommendations we’d suggest making that could potentially help prevent your children from seeing explicit content on Facebook and will add another layer of protection when using this VR device. Aside from protecting your family from explicit content, these recommendations are also going to prevent your child from being preyed upon by people who use platforms like Facebook and VR chat rooms to find vulnerable children. It’s sad, but it happens.
Use Oculus Quest to sign in with your Facebook account.
Unfortunately, you will need to have a Facebook account with your Oculus Quest. This means either you or your child will have to create a Facebook account and sign in to use your Oculus Quest. Again…if you’re smart, as a parent, you will use your own Facebook account so you can monitor and control access. Warning: Do NOT make a fake Facebook account. There have been some reports that people who do this have had their Oculus Quest disabled. When this happens, you lose all of your purchases with no chance of getting a refund or getting them back. When games you purchase range from $15 to $30, that’s a hefty price tag just to create a fake account, which doesn’t provide any privacy advantages anyway. The best recommendation would be to use your personal Facebook account when setting up the Oculus Quest. Make sure the following settings are implemented. You can either do this through the Facebook mobile app or on the desktop. Navigate to the Privacy Settings tab and make sure as many things as possible are either set to “Only Me” or “Disabled.” The most important section to make sure everything is set to “Only Me” is the “How People Find and Contact You” section. You should definitely spend a bit of time looking through these various settings and getting to know what they mean and how they affect your account.
Enhanced Parental Control Settings In The Oculus App
In the Oculus Quest app, go to the settings by clicking on the top left-hand corner. Once you’re in the privacy settings, make sure that “Activity” is set to “Only Me,” your friend’s list is set to “Only Me”, your Facebook name is set to “Only Me”, and Activity Status + Push Notifications is set to “Only Me.” Now, you’re probably thinking, ‘I’m going to be a ghost on Facebook after making these adjustments.’ And you’d probably be right. But until we get built-in parental settings in the Oculus Quest environment, we will have to resort to these secondary measures to make sure we get optimal or adequate parental controls. And don’t forget, you can change these settings later. But if you’re looking for the safest and most private settings on the Oculus Quest, you’ll want to implement these.
Research Gaming Content Before You Buy
Games are another access point for potential threats and explicit content on the Oculus Quest. First off, there are a ton of great games available through the Oculus Quest store and even some indie stores like App Lab and SideQuest. We are just beginning to scratch the surface of possibility and wonder when it comes to VR gaming. But that also means enhanced threats from the dangers lurking. As of now, most of the major sources for Oculus Quest games all have a very strict no adult content policy. But who are we kidding? You need to be aware that there are game ratings for VR games as well (Mature, Teen, Everyone 10+ and Everyone). Even with those strict no adult content policies, there are still games and apps which allow people to share explicit content in-game. To keep your family safe, be sure that when you set up the headset, you install the Oculus App on your mobile device and enable the “Purchase Pin.” What this does is all purchases will require that a pin be used. Not only will this save you money from unwanted purchases, but it’ll also allow you to know all the apps and games being installed on the Oculus Quest headset. Again, a simple and quick additional layer of control. If you don’t currently have the pin setup or you didn’t set up the headset using your smartphone, don’t worry just download the Oculus app and set up the headset with it.
Be Smart. Be Aware
There are a couple of other things you can do outside of an app or some setting in the software. Talk to your kids about how they’re using the Oculus Quest device. You’ll be surprised by what revelations and intuitions you have just by simply talking to your kids about their tech habits. Another level of protection is to dedicate an area in your house where the Oculus Quest can be played. Now, this might be a little difficult at first because your family may want to watch some movies or engage in educational VR content (thank you Amazon Prime VR!). It can be uncomfortable or difficult doing that with a lot of people around. But…having a dedicated space in the home (like a commons area) where the Oculus Quest VR can be played or used is an effective parenting hack.
What Does DDID Use?
Great question; I finally came up with a system that is the best solution for our home. Not only did I use the above settings for my teen son, but I also use a Firewalla device. This device allows me to control when a device has internet access (I have rules to turn off the Oculus at 10 pm on weekdays and 11 pm on weekends), I’m able to block YouTube, Netflix, any video streaming, and I can either drop all social media connections or get specific. The Firewalla is used for all our devices to help keep our network protected and safe. The Oculus Quest also has a feature that will cast what the player is playing/doing to a TV. The DDID family requires that this feature be turned on so;
We can watch what our kids are playing/doing.
We can watch what our kids are playing/doing It’s psychological. People, in general, will make better choices knowing that someone might be watching.
Again, no content filter is perfect. Kids are smart. Kids can find a way. They can be really good at circumventing any measure you put in place to protect them. Even in the safest VR apps, your child could still be exposed to vulgarity or inappropriate actions of others. That is why one of the best things you can do as a parent to keep your child safe in a VR environment is to jump in and play with them.
Engage in their world. Be part of it. Be an active parent. Not a helicopter parent, but one who is smart and aware of what’s happening in their child’s lives. This is the best and safest method for you as a parent to know exactly what your child or loved one is experiencing in virtual reality.
